A Beautiful Disaster

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I have had a most interesting week! I found my yarn for the potholder swap thanks to Candace @ Squash House Quilts. I ordered from Elann yesterday, and I can't wait to smell that new yarn! Is that weird? I love the feel of all (and I do mean all!) yarn, but if it doesn't smell yummy I can't use it. Smells are the first thing I notice about everything. I think I have decided on a pattern for my potholders. Since I am newly come to the Southwest US, I will be using a SW style pattern as a keepsake...I bought way more yarn than I need for this very purpose! But, who really needs a purpose to buy more yarn?

Now, for the hilarious part! Well, it was much much funnier in person, but i'll try to do the incident justice. First, just let me say... we had a clog. You see, we are staying in our camper for the time being. Campers being temperamental as they are seem to constantly have something that needs to be fixed. Also, my husband is no plumber ;) He's the Telephone Guy! If it's not some huge technical issue, don't call him! I love my husband, he's a great guy! The smartest man I know, but I won't let him under the hood of my car! You should stick to what you know! So, back to our clog...hehehe. First he tries a plunger, and that doesn't work. For the following two days he puts everything from non-toxic septic cleaner to microbial camper sewage bacteria-stuff, and when none of this works he turns to Sulfuric Acid! None of this works. Things go downhill from there. Mr. T then sends me to Home Depot for chemical gloves and extra milk (we'll get to that later :))) He's gonna snake the drain from the outside.... Oh, man, did I have some worries and I had worked myself into a great panic by the time he was ready to get started. I had my purse and keys by the door and A ready to get in the car and fly to the ER.

Mr. T, being the thoughtful man he is (as I'm hovering) tells me I might want to step back a few feet b/c when the clog comes loose sewage is going to rush out everywhere. I then step back about five yards...just to be safe. He's snaking away and nothing is happening! He gets frustrated and sits down to rest as he's pulling the snake out. He's going to try snaking from the toilet side. As the end of the snake comes out of the drain pipe a wad of who the hell knows what comes out on the end...and just behind that.... a barrel.... full.... of sewage. Mind you, this was not funny @ the time. The poor guy was trying to get back on his feet and reconnect the drain at the same time as he was slipping in shit. All that is running through my head is all those war movies we seem to always have on atleast one television, and all the men that died of disentary from unsanitary conditions! I am screaming at him to GET UP! Finally, he gets that sewage soaked slippery drain hose reconnected and jumps up to run out of the sewage spill disaster area and realizes the sewage is HOT, from the Sulfuric Acid, duh! He then starts to panic and takes off at a run, only to trip over the water supply line and fall head first into the corner of the slide out on the camper! I swear if I had been video taping, we would win a million dollars for AFV!

Needless to say, I was NOT going to let that man inside in those clothes. At my insistence, he strips outside down to his underwear and takes a shower. At the end of his first shower he yells for me to bring him some milk. Now my family singlehandedly keeps the local dairy in business. So, thinking he was thirsty, I take him a glass of milk. No, he wants the whole container! He then proceeds to tell me that since milk is a base?!? it wil counteract the sulfuric acid, and that I should pour milk on him!!! OMG! Let me tell you! Those of you with food fetishes out there, I have no clue what you are thinking! It did not do a thing for me! However, we both got a good laugh out of our situation!

After he took two more showers, he got around to calling Poison Control. According to the lady he spoke to, he did everything he could do and he would be fine; only, since according to her, milk is not a base,so, he wasted a gallon of milk!!! He still swears she has no idea what she was talking about. Of course, HE knows EVERYTHING. Oh well, atleast I have a new, hilarious story to share!